Yes, I am Alive.

I still don't have my own laptop but Brandon is working on getting me one soon before I go crazy. I got his handmedown Iphone which is great because I can check my email and Facebook (because those things are sooo important) but I don't get to blog or check on the blogs as much as I would like because I can only do it at work...and well, they prefer me to actually work at work. :)
Speaking of work....
we did get bought (or we merged as the former President of the company likes to say) and I have a job. My job is gone, but I really have at least another month of doing the accounting work. After that it will be a new journey. I was given the title "Project Coordinator"...which really means "office go to girl"...I could think of another name but it would be in appropriate. I am learning a lot (ok, slowly a little) bit about the environmental industry that I didn't already know. I am just so greatful to have a job at this time.
On to other news....we are PREGNANT. Yes, it finally happened. I am only 9 weeks today so we are still in that phase of "please let there still be a baby in my tummy." We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks (I am considered high risk as of right now due to my miscarriage a few years ago and my hormones being wakcy crazy afterwards). So we saw a little figure with a beating heart...insane that you can even see anything at 7 weeks. There is a blood clot between the uterus and placenta which they say is common but I am on "pelvic rest" because of it which basically means no sex or exercise. That meant no Muddy Buddy this past weekend. :( But anything to keep Baby Bruce safe. We go back in a couple weeks to see if there is any change. And check this out....I can't believe I am sharing it but I already gained 6 lbs...seriously! With Ashley you could barely tell I was pregnant until around 7 months. I wore my regular clothes at least until 16 weeks and than had to get stretchy stuff. Today, after lunch I had to unbutton my jeans. :( Yikes, I am in trouble. Once the Dr gives me the ok I am going to go out and walk some heavy duty walks with my Dad and Hubby to get this body in good shape. I am doing a Half Marathon in Feb...I will be 20 weeks but I would like to complete it.
Ok, see what happens. I dissapear and than when I come back I ramble and can't stop talking. So hopefully I will have a new laptop witthin a week and get some pictures up and be back on track. :)
That is the least I can do for my friend Rachel who is moving to the UK next month...we will miss you!

Remember this.....

Last January this was my Mission List for 2009....

1.Write a snail mail letter or card to a friend once a month. Ha, didn't happen.
2.Go on a date with each child individually once a month. Nope..not this one either.
3.Complete 6 events; i.e. 5k, Marathon, Triathlon Completed and signed up to do a few more!
4.Go away with Brandon for a long weekend...to either celebrate our engagement anniversary or a birthday. (Went to San Fran in Feb and Africa in Aug)
5.Get desks and organize them (and rooms) for Ethan and Ashley. Got desks...working on organization.
6.To intentionally "give" something once a month. Gift or money. Didn't happen...need to be more intentional.
7.Plan and go on date night once a month with Brandon. Nope, not this one either.
8.Keep friends and family updated with actual pictures..not just the email version. Ha, not even close.
9.Start holding a "WILL PLAY FOR FOOD" quarterly and donate to Second Harvest Food Bank. Nope, not this one either...haven't even held one.
10.Get pregnant gosh darn't. No, still not pregnant.
11.Read at least 4 books on my "Must Read" list. Have read 4 books...I think 1 might have been on the Must Read List..lol.
12.Start volunteering and getting involved with Horizon Pregnancy Center. Went to one of their fundraisers.
13.Get my haircut when I need it and not feel guilty about spending money on myself.
Think it is ridiculous how much haircuts cost...nope, had a change of mind on this one.
14. And last but not least...learn to say No and prioritize so I can have a less stressful, more enjoyable, more patience, remember why I am here and spend time with my family kind of year! I was reading a blog and came across Psalm 39...thought it fit perfectly.
Well...this last one. I have learned how to say no, and prioritize. And some of the things on the list got thrown to the bottom of my priority list.

This post was mostly because I wrote one last night...rethought it and took it off of here...lol. But because I had posted it the title was still up and I needed something new up. :P

God's Timing

So yesterday I found out that there is a very big chance that they will be getting rid of my position at work. On approximately Oct 1st. I was told they want to keep me so we have to work on a way to repackage me to sell me so I can stay on. I do accounting, I am a numbers person. I will have nothing to do with numbers now. I will do proposals and reports and even maybe work in the field with the geologists. I am no dummy but when it comes to math and science I am a dummy. And yes, you can be a numbers person and not a math person. :) I like to balance numbers...I like that you have to have an exact answer, I like things to match up at the end of a problem. I am not worried about losing my job, God has a plan. But I am stressed out. I am worried about change. I have been comfortable with my job, they are flexible. I get to leave when I need to be with my kids, I can work my schedule around me. I know this is rare. I get paid good. Not great, but I know it is good.
When I left for Africa I didn't pray to have my life radically changed but I prayed at least for an experience that would bring me humility. I laugh now because God is really going overboard with it. Not proud; modest; small in size; to lower in importance...all of these are definitions of humble. Like I said, there is a chance things could change, I feel small....and it is not even 100% certain. However all of this makes me nervous because of change...we want to have another baby, is that possible? What if I lose my job, we can't afford another baby. What if my job requires me to be here at a specific time with no flexibility, how can I juggle it and afford childcare for a baby. So many questions and uncertainties run through my mind, just because of a little change. And than God spoke...lol. I watched a cheesy show called Glee. I was inspired. And than I saw this video. And it reminded me that there is nothing I should be worried about. I laugh at myself. My worries are so small in comparison. My life is more than good and it is all God's doing. He gives and takes away. But he has not failed me yet...and I don't foresee him failing me now. So Blessed Be Your Name!

*The video was making my page all screwy? I need a class on how to do all this stuff.

Still Processing....

the fact that they get their drinking water here....everyday.

that they bathe here.

that the three little girls eating together share a bed..



Yet there was so much joy, hope, and smiles.

Oyugis

I have been going through pictures and video...and thinking about ways to remember this trip. And wondering how do I even blog about something like this. Do I give you day by day...highlights...I had no idea where to start. Now that we have been home for over a week it is clear to me that a part of my heart has been left in a little town called Oyugis. It is the town we stayed in while we were given a chance to share in the final week of Immanuel Christian School for the Deaf before they go on their break. My mind is clouded with the memories, sounds, smells, and sights of this school. I am pretty sure half of my heart is still there. And even though we were on a missions trip to serve these people I am pretty sure I took a lot more from them than I gave. I have come to the conclusion that it is OK because now I can share it with all of you guys. :) Their motto is "Disability is not Inability" and they sure showed us that they were more than able. They have nothing compared to our standards. Children sharing mattresses on a dirty floor, sharing broken flip flops, eating rice with their hands, walking miles to get their water. But one thing they all had were SMILES...great big joyful smiles. Most of the children at this school have come from horrible situations. Several (over half) are orphaned to to their parents dying of AIDS. They have been mistreated, left on the side of the road, or abused because they are deaf. The deaf are useless according to the Africans however things are slowly changing. These children have been given a chance and we are thankful for DMI (Deaf Ministries International) for supplying this chance to them. They are given a chance to learn...they are busy with schooling, dancing, physical education, and drama. Most importantly they are studying God's Word. They all have hearts of gold and over and over we were told I love you, I love you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I had to reply with "No, thank you, thank you, thank you...I love you and you and you and you." Here are some of my favorite pictures at the school.





They just bought some new land and are hoping to be able to grow some things to sell. They had everyone on the team plant a tree and we had a blessing over the land at the end. We are hoping to go back in a few years and see our trees.




Some dances.



Stretching during PE. This is before I got schooled in netball and after I got to "run with the Kenyans"...never mind that they were 4 and 5 yr olds.



Some painting.

No..I did not get in the paint...what would give you that idea?

Our little friend, Ben, with a clean face. His mother is the cook at the school so he is hearing and speaking....most of the time...lol.


Lilie Blue Eyes


Cliford. Not sure if he is deaf but I think he is autistic for sure. We shared a nice silent moment of smiles during one of our rainy hours. No noise other than the rain and we he would just look over at me, so I would smile, than he would look away. Than look back and I would smile and he would look away....and you get the picture.


I will never admit this again, and I will only admit this to you so don't tell anyone but these were our favorite kids. I know, I know...but you get it. You either bond with a certain someone or just fall in love with them. Tom and Brandon had a connection and I just fell in love with Evalyne. They were both such passionate people with so much potential. He won the award for Most Athletic and she did a beautiful poem that even though I didn't know what she was signing half the time I teared up.





This is the little girl we are sponsoring....Melvin Anyango. She is a doll...and young so we can watch her grow and flourish. We (Brandon and myself) have already committed to going back and when I say that I mean we totally shook hands and spit in them and all that...lol.
So these were some favorites. I will share stories and more pictures another day.

I'm Back...and trying to work.

We got back from Africa on Friday.....and days later I can't stop thinking about it. And I mean, can't work, totally distracted thinking about it. I loved Kenya...I loved the people, I loved the land. And so my question is "now what". Don't worry....I will post tons of pictures (we have about 5000)...lol. But my mind can't stop thinking of Tom or Mercy or Clifford or Lillian or Lily or Melvin, or Evalyne...in fact we have already named our 3rd child (no, we are not pregnant, just hoping that someday it will happen) Evalyne after a beautiful little deaf girl that we met at the Immanuel Christian School for the Deaf in Ringa, Kenya. "What now" just keeps running through my head....what should I do, what can I do? Part of my heart is still there...and I think it will remain. I got to be a Missionary for 2 weeks...but I feel that God is saying that there is more. I know there is more. I experienced God in a new place with new people with different eyes...I realized how big our God is. Yet as big as he is I also experienced the personal, intimate God in the relationships with the people I met. God was working...silly white Americans who don't sign were having conversations of the heart with these little African, non hearing children. All the time, God is good.

Off to Africa......

My laptop is down to it's last strings....haven't been able to download any pictures. Competed in two events in July...got my 5k PR...mini vacation to Palm Springs...OC Mud Run...Krista's sister, Sarah, got married...July was a great and busy month.
And tomorrow morning Brandon and I leave for Africa. A week in Kenya and a week in Uganda. Excited, anxious, just a few of the words flying around in my head. I have been praying for an open heart, guidance, good health, and no lost baggage...lol. I am looking forward to getting to know the people of Africa and sharing the Good News and just loving on them. So please pray for us and I will be back in 2 weeks with some stories and pictures.

Krista's Wedding

Happy One Week Krista and Drew!
Here are some pictures...I still haven't been able to post my pics...but thank you Debbee, Emily, and Heather for yours. :)
The celebration started at the rehearsal...when you heard over and over about what wonderful people Drew and Krista were. And over and over...seriously, two of the best people you will ever meet. I told Drew that we have been praying for him for years and years....and God provided. The wedding was beautiful...we all wore fun and funky colored shoes (including the bride) and we had bright fun flowers, and the stage was set so perfectly with eclectic put together trees made by a sexy man I like to call B2. There was great food in the park and fun dancing with goofy hats and glasses. The Three Musketeers sang and danced to Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" and new friends were made while dancing to "Boom, Boom". Thank you Krista and Drew for falling in love and making this world a better place because of who you are and the love you share with others.
In no order at all...some of my favorite pictures of the day...

My Memory of Michael Jackson

Living in Southern California we see the traffic...we see the craziness...we see our dollars being spent on the circus that is surrounding the Memorial of Michael Jackson. Is it a little crazy?...yes...BUT as I read and listen I am a little saddened by our response. I have heard more bad jokes and whining about MJ and the bad press that follows him. Yes, I agree he was a little strange...all the surgeries, the trials, and the crazy names for his kids...Blanket, really? However, as a Christian I can't see why any of that matters. When I die....I pray, for my childrens sake, that you don't talk about how I got a divorce, how I had sex out of marriage and produced a child from that, I ask that you don't talk about how I was a liar, how I hurt people. If anything, I pray that you remember that I was one of God's children too. And so I will remember that MJ brought people together with this wonderful song....how he made a difference in people's life's, how he wrote songs that brought up real stuff, and that the same God that loves and died for me loves and died for MJ also.

Wedding!

Tomorrow is the big day....and I am sooo excited! It is a day I have been looking forward to since.. forever. One of my BFF's...1/3rd of the Three Musketeers is getting married! I have really been thinking about what she has been in my life...and I have realized that she is a HUGE part of why I am me. She is one of those people who helps you be a better person. I have made some pretty big mistakes and bad decisions but being around her or even listening to her wisdom I knew I could always come back...I knew that even through all of those bad choices she still loved me and through her I could see that God still loved me. It is true what they say....your best friends love you even when they know the real you. So I hope to have some amazing pictures next week of the wedding!

Reflections (Post title stolen from Gina)

1. My laptop has been wacky...our horrible cable/internet service stinks...so when my laptop is good and I have time our cable/internet goes out. TWC STINKS!
2. One week from today one of my bestest friends is getting married, this year we realized we have been friends for 25 yrs. Do you have one of those kinds of friends? I love it...all of our history and knowing that we will have a future. I am sooo excited to share in this part of her life as she marries the man of her dreams and I am excited to be gaining a new family member in him. We have waited for this day and I am going to go out and buy water proof makeup because we are criers.
3. Father's Day....was awesome. I was tired and cranky, didn't want to do anything but sleep. Went to an Angels game with the family and had a wonderful time. Thought about how lucky I am that I have two great Father's that love me very much. My heavenly father and earthly father...and I can look up to them both and know 100% that they both have my back and love me for me. And I also realized how blessed I am that my children have an amazing father in Brandon. Being a single Mom is tough...most good men don't want your baggage. Brandon willingly took my baggage...I gave him many opportunities to get out. But he took on my baggage and loves my kids more than I could ever dream of. Thank you Brandon.
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8...makes me sick. Tired of them, tired of people feeling sorry for her. Why is infidelity the "worser" thing? Um, last I looked she pretty much stripped the man of all his dignity. He said it himself..."I didn't choose to be a stay at home Dad, the decision was made for me." I understand both sides...she feels betrayed because supposedly he was with another women. However he just wants to feel loved and respected and since his wife doesn't seem to have much of either towrds him he is just saying "Amen, now I can try and gain some respect and feel loved again." Either way it stinks for the kids and I hope they totally pull the show off the air.
5. My teeth are much better. AMEN! But I am not done and now see why brushing and flossing is not enough...you should actually go to the dentist and have them clean your teeth also. I don't do this....I am stupid.
6. My children have been gone for a week now....I am excited for the freedom on being childless however realized I have packed way too much into the short time they are gone and am just as stressed and busy and saved no time to just rest and relax.
Ashley called me yesterday...and than we hung up...and than she called me again. She talks a lot...she could sit on the phone all day. Last night I started to really miss Ethan. I was reminiscing when it was just he and I. Wondering if any other 25 yr old women had a 2 yr old for a best friend....I would talk to him like he was my age...lol. Good thing Brandon came into the picture or the poor kid would still have to listen to me. :)
7. Deaths always come in threes....a little creepy. And how do we let someone get $400 Million in Debt when I can't get a measly home loan?
8. I can't think of anything else...I had more but my brain stopped...does yours do that. Just stop.

Great Friend, Great Cake

Our church is lucky enough to have a wonderful Woman's Minister....and I am blessed to call her a friend also. It is her birthday tomorrow so we got together on Monday for a little pre birthday fun. I was in charge of dessert. I had seen this cake in different blogs with different colors and many more layers. I had to try it. I love to bake...and try and decorate cakes. Usually Brandon has to take over because I am ruining it or it gets thrown away. I found my signature cake....Brandon still helped. But I am claiming this cake as mine! He gets everything else...this is my "happy, happy, fun cake." And Happy Birthday again AT, you are absolutely amazing!

A little deeper

Not that Angels games and Bridal Showers aren't deep.....but my brain is going a hundred miles a minute and I haven't trapped any of it in word lately. Not that I am any good at it because it is usually going too fast. :) Just finished a great book....Crazy Love by Francis Chan. And I have been challenged...in many ways. So I will be tackling one at a time. As of lately one of my biggest challenges has been....Why? Why did he forgive me? Why did he die for my sins? I know he loves me and having children I say I would do anything for them....but I still don't get it. In society we put sins on different levels and think..."he forgave that one but oh, this one is so much bigger." And I can not comprehend why sometimes. Guilt is such a big problem for me.....and I know it is just Satan digging as far as he can. I have read a few things that have made me think....not answering the questions, but gave me something more to think about. I read a blog...that had a quote from a book..."From Eternity to Here" by Frank Viola. I know NOTHING about this book or the author, just the phrase I read in someone's blog. It said....
You have a Lord who wishes to cherish you. Neither your fallen nature nor your sins are an obstacle for Him. He has dealt with them thoroughly, completely, and willingly by His death and resurrection.
So I read that and thought...ok, yeah, heard that before, I get it. But do I act like I got it, no. But I read something else....the difference between what I should should be doing and what I am doing. He is talking about Mary Magdalene...
“Indeed, Mary of Magdala is a study in undying love. I ask you: What provoked such unending devotion? It was simply this: Mary believed the Lord’s opinion of her. She took His opinion of herself rather than her own. In doing so, love was awakened within her own heart for Christ…
Mary believed the Lord's opinion of her. Do I believe the Lord's opinion of me....or do I get wrapped up in what society says about me, do I compare myself, do I listen to people's pointless opinions. Yep, I do all of those.
And I love this one....(thank you Amanda)....I think this is the way to live.

What other people think of you is none of your business!

Last Month in Review

It's been a busy one so I will just catch up through pictures.


Some Angels games and a little tailgating.


Ethan receiving his award for the OC Marathon.


Debbee T's birthday breakfast at the best breakfast spot in San Marino, Julienne's.

A Lovely Bridal Shower for one of my BFFs.

And we played a fabulous game....Love songs through the decades and we got to keep a C.D. of some great Love Songs.

So I listen to it at work...over..and over...and over again. My favorites right now.
I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song by Jim Croce.
To Make You Feel My Love (Kris Allen,American Idol version)...although I love Garth.
The Book of Love by The Magnetic Fields....loving this one for some reason...and he words sort of crack me up.
Love is All Around by The Troggs.


Countdown...23 DAYS!

Triathlon #2, Event #5 of 2009

I know that I have lots to catch up on but I HAD to tell you about my Triathlon. It was at the same park as the last one and this one was sooooo much better.
First of all the swim was half of the last one so that helped.
Big debate before the race if we wear swimsuits or not. We wouldn't be in the water long so we shouldn't get too cold out there, but they keep the less talented swimmer more bouyant (I have no idea how to spell that word). Less transition time without the wetsuit. So I caved in and didn't wear a wetsuit. Get there and see that we are 2 out of maybe 5 women not in wetsuits, so panic set in a little bit. Especially when a seasoned triathlete came up to me in my two piece speedo outfit and said "Wow, you're hardcore." Followed with my nervous giggle. Brandon and Drew started in the heat before us.

Then it was our turn....

And remember the panic of my last swim....not so much. Thanks to Billy B. I did the backstroke the whole way. :) He told me that I would excert less energy and get further with the backstroke than with my backwards frog kick stroke..lol. And I did. Don't open this picture any bigger...not a pretty sight but I just wanted to show you that there were people behind me...I was not the last one out of the water. And I am not in a crazy panic like last one.

And here my partner in crime and I are leaving the transition together...I had to put this picture up. Remember how she forgot her helmet last time, well she remembered it this time. HOWEVER, (I love you Debbee) although she remembered her helmet she forgot to put it on the right way and wore it backwards the whole race. I'm in red and she is in pink. :)

I guess I will add a cool picture of Brandon, this was him finishing his bike section (great pic from our photographer Krista!)

Bike course...cake compared to the last one. I got a road bike and oh, what a difference it makes. I love me some mountain biking but the road bike goes a lot faster when you are on the road. But I won't lie...I still got passed a lot. So frustrating when (pardon me) very large people pass you with ease when you are working hard and say "Great job". Arrgghh...I'll catch them on the run. :)

And here is the whole crew finishing.




The run went well....I have learned that your legs are mush but only for the first mile so I pushed through that and once again, I did not get passed. Well, if you want to count the 13 yr old girl that sprinted past me at the end I guess you could count that. I actually ran with a little group of 12 adn 13 yr olds at the end and they pushed me to a hard finish. I was soo impressed by all the random people out there competing. Kids...I mean little kids out there. There was an athlete who was a double leg amputee, there was a young man (don't know the correct term) but he was in a wheel chair and could not talk or walk and he did it with a partner. Over sized people. It was just super impressive to participate in an event where there were so many different people and everyone is sooo friendly. I think because it is such a small field compared to the running only races. And I am very blessed to have a husband a group of friends who enjoy doing this so we can do it as a community.

WE DID IT!

And of course we had to get a group photo with the photographer and our little cheering crew. Thanks friends! Now on to train for another 5K PR.